Okay. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any children that this topic makes me feel some kind of way. At either rate, I’m not really for the New Jersey law that fathers are not allowed in the delivery room with the mother of their child if the mother doesn’t want him there. In other words, the mother’s rights are favored and the father’s rights are not. I can’t speak for anyone else but this seems rather selfish on the part of the mom if she’s in favor of this law for the wrong reasons. Let me explain:
Let’s say that “Rebecca” and “Mark” have been in a relationship for about two years. Everything is great. Love is in the air, the birds are chirping loudly because of Rebecca and Mark’s love for each other, and people hear music whenever they’re with each other. But for whatever reason, things become really ugly in their relationship and they decide to part ways. However, Rebecca is pregnant with Mark’s first child and although he’s no longer together with Rebecca, he still wants to be in the delivery room when she gives birth.
But because of her unwillingness to put aside her bad feelings towards Mark, she won’t allow him to see his child being born. So not only is the father robbed of the opportunity to see his baby being born but the innocent baby is robbed of the opportunity of being held in the arms of his/her father for the first time and bonding…all because of the mother’s unflattering feelings towards the father of her child.
Let me be real: Unfortunately, whatever happened during the course of Rebecca and Mark’s relationship effected what took place during the birth of their child because of her choosing for him not to be in the delivery room with her. What Rebecca doesn’t realize is that her decision to not allow the father to be there during the birthing process can effect how she treats the father in the long haul, thus, it will effect the child as well. Things happen and relationships sometimes fall apart but both parties have to be friends (or at least cordial) for the sake of the child. Choosing to not allow the father in the delivery room is one step to choosing to not allow the father to be a part of the child’s life. That’s why I said that it’s selfish. If Mark cheated on you with the girl down the street, that’s not a reason to keep him from bonding with his newborn child. Put aside your feelings and allow that moment with the child and the father to take place.
On the flip side, if the father of your baby is an abusive and a threatening piece of work, I would totally understand if the mother doesn’t want him in the delivery room during this moment in her life. She’s in a lot of pain and going thru a lot during that time. The last thing that she needs is a man in the room with her that is causing her nothing but grief. If you are that type of man that can see the mother of your child being in a lot of pain during labor but yet, you’re causing her more pain because you’re causing her problems during this process, you not only need to be banned from the delivery room but you need to be banned from the hospital altogether.
In a nutshell, the whole focus of the birthing process should be about bringing a beautiful child in the world. With that being said, both parties should be mature enough to put aside their feelings for that moment to make sure that the baby grows in a healthy environment with parents that are not taking the opportunity to claw each other’s eyes out. If I’m wrong, let me know.
Copyright © 2014 by Sonica Jackson
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