Sick to my Stomach

Derrick McIlwain

I just found out that on January 10, 2014, a man by the name of Derrick Mcllwain was sentenced to fifteen years in prison for the shooting death of former Tampa Bay Devil Rays player, Danny Clyburn Jr. According to the news, Derrick fatally shot Danny in the heart while at a party spot because Danny wouldn’t buy him drinks. When Danny refused to buy Derrick’s drinks, a fight escalated between the two which resulted in Derrick shooting Danny and justifying his actions by saying that Danny “never did anything for the hood”. What’s more bizarre about this tragedy is that Derrick and Danny were supposedly lifelong friends. In my eyes, this is nothing but a case of jealous rage.

First of all, let me go ahead and just break down this whole “giving back to the hood” scenario. For all the people in the inner city that have the same mentality like Derrick and thinks that when someone makes it out of the inner city that they are required to give back to the community, let me help you understand something: NOBODY OWES YOU A DAMN THING. PERIOD. If you want something in this life, YOU have to be the one to get it yourself. The fact that Danny got out of the hood and Derrick CHOSE to stay and not do anything with his life, is nobody’s fault but his own. Jealousy is a beast and if you don’t eliminate it, that emotion will control and ruin your life. If you need me to elaborate, you can read my post from back in October appropriately titled, Brothas, I Have A Question.

Furthermore, the best thing that anyone can give to anyone that lives in a bad neighborhood is great advice on how to have a better life. Great advice is worth a lot more than a damn drink at a house party because with advice, you’ll be able to do things for yourself versus acting as if someone needs to do it for you. And if you think that people need to do things for the hood, maybe YOU should start doing things for the community yourself. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a lot of money in order to give back to the community and I get so sick and tired of people thinking that they are supposed to live a good life off of the hard work and sweat of others.

Let me be the first to say that when my dreams come true, I will definitely give back to the hood but I’m not gonna be hanging there. I don’t care what anyone has to say about it. Don’t get me wrong; I’m from the hood and I do have some hang-out spots that I truly love to go to. But unfortunately, when you become well-known and end up in a different tax bracket, you’ll find out that you won’t be able to hang out often in those areas like you used to because something can go very wrong. Believe me, you can end up in a situation where you may catch a case because you’re hanging around the person end up with a bullet in your behind. Such was the case with Derrick and Danny.

Had Danny chose to not go to that house party, he’d probably still be here on earth. But of course, he didn’t know that he was in the company of a resentful man that was gonna take his life. And considering the fact that Derrick was his so-called friend, it just goes to show that when you get money, there will be those “friends” who will show you their true colors. Some people are not gonna be able to handle your blessings and they will prove that to you in one form or another. Your circle is gonna become smaller and smaller and certain people are gonna claim that you’ve “changed.”

It is sickening that a grown man had the nerve to act like a b*tch because another man wouldn’t buy him drinks. That sounds like something that a female groupie would be mad about, not a grown man. But the reality is that there are many people in rough neighborhoods that are just like Derrick, thinking that they are entitled to something and if you don’t give them what they wish, they will retaliate against you. Some will try to set you up to be robbed and before you know it, you’ve gotten shot because you were hangin’ with the wrong people in the wrong place. And yet, if you choose to stay your behind away from that type of environment, people will swear that you’re turning your back on the hood and they’ll say that “you forgot where you came from.”

One of the reasons why a lot of celebrities won’t come visit the rough neighborhoods that they grew up in and will not buy or build a house in that particular environment is because N**GAS (yes, I said it) don’t know how to act. If you’re a celebrity and you decide to buy a house in that type of environment because you have “so much love” for the hood, that love is not gonna be returned because you can best believe that your house will get ransacked and everything that you’ve worked hard for will be gone. This is why most celebrities choose to live in gated communities with serious-face security guards because they know that their lives and their belongings will be out of harm’s way. As a matter of fact, there are several streets in Atlanta that you can’t even drive on without being checked in by a security guard. Oh yeah, you can see the big houses from afar but you can’t bring your EBT card-carrying behind on that street without a security clearance check. And I don’t blame them.

For the family of Danny Clyburn Jr., I truly feel sorry for their lost because this is something that didn’t have to happen. His parents no longer have a son and his kids no longer have a father because of the selfish acts of a jealous man who was envious of someone that decided to do better with their life. I honestly believe that Derrick’s fifteen-year prison sentence is not harsh enough and the fact that this man had the audacity to claim self-defense and tried to use the “stand your ground” law as justification to take Danny’s life, is absurd.

And for those of you that wanna say, “Well, Sonica you wasn’t there so you can’t say that he was wrong for killing this man and blah, blah blah,”  let me go ahead and say this: According to the news, Derrick had already tried to justify his actions by saying that Danny ‘never did anything for anybody in the hood’. So in my opinion, he felt that it was okay to take this man’s life all because he believed that Danny should’ve done things for the community. Oh really? My questions to Derrick is ‘What were YOU doing for the community besides being another statistic? Who are you to say whether someone should do something for the hood or not?

And for the record, if Danny wasn’t doing anything for his community, that’s between him and God. Danny didn’t owe Derrick or anybody else an explanation for anything that he chose to do or not do. What I believe is that Derrick took the ‘n**ga route and decided to take Danny’s life simply because he couldn’t deal with the fact that his own life was a mess. Welp, he’ll have fifteen years in prison to think about it.

Rest in peace, Mr. Danny Clyburn Jr.

Sonica

Copyright © 2014 by Sonica Jackson

***The views and opinions expressed here on my website are solely those of myself and do not in any way represent the views and opinions of WordPress or anyone else.

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