Helping or Hindering

Not too long ago, a cousin of mine was trying to open up her own Laundromat and she knew someone that opened up one of their own. Their Laundromat is very successful and it has special features that most Laundromats don’t have. So since my cousin knew the owner of the place, she felt comfortable in asking him if he would give her some helpful advice as to how she can open up her own establishment.

Instead of him giving her some helpful tips, he gave her the brush-off, convinced her that good property is hard to find, and just said to her, “Just do the work”. Ever since he told her that, it’s like she has completely lost interest in the idea. She doesn’t talk about it anymore and all of the enthusiasm that she once had about opening up the place has completely diminished.

The scenario had me a lil’ pissed off; not because she chose not to do it but because an idiot discouraged her from doing so. I am a firm believer that God bless people so that they can help someone else get their start. We are all teachers in our own right and when you refuse to take the opportunity to help someone else get their pie in the sky, you need to get a swift kick in your ass. But I don’t think that Mr. Man got the memo on that.

He could have easily told her how to get started, what building to look for, where to pick out the industrial appliances, and what paperwork she needed to fill out. But nope. He decided to kill her dream by discouraging her. Now, I know it’s wrong to wish bad things on people but if I witnessed his Laundromat going up in flames, I can’t say that I would offer a bucket of water (Yes I would because I’m a nice person).

Anyway, my point is this: I love seeing my beautiful Black people become successful and thrive in life. But I despise successful Black people who sh*t on others that are trying to be successful as well. It’s enough money to go around. So to prevent someone from reaching their full potential makes you look like you’re money-hungry and insecure and you’re doing yourself a disservice in your community because you refuse to teach those that wanna learn.

Let me be real: The minute we get our forty acres and a mule, we start to think that we have “arrived” and we treat the so-called common folks as if they need to be thankful that we even allow them to breathe the same air that we breathe. We have the tendency to forget that there was a time in our lives when we once needed someone to help us get our start in life. How soon we forget that we were once living paycheck to paycheck, we’ve rode on the public bus, we’ve lit candles when our lights were cut off, we’ve ate Hamburger Helper without the hamburger, we’ve put aluminum foil on our TV antennas, we didn’t always have cable, and we’ve prayed a million nights that God would help us get a better life.

So then, God gives you the life that you’ve always wanted; you’re eating good, living good, and sleeping good. You have a different car for each day of the week, you smoke expensive cigars, and sleep on expensive European silk sheets. You have completely alienated the friends that you grew up with and you even dumped your longtime girlfriend whom used to let you drive her car since you couldn’t afford one.

Your mama is constantly asking the church to pray for you because she’s noticed that you have completely lost your mind since you’ve been rolling in dough. Not only that, you’ve done all the things that you said you would never do and you’ve let down the people that you said you would help once you became wealthy.

Let me help you understand something: There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have a better life. If you want a mansion with fifty bedrooms and you can afford to get one, go ahead and do your thang. However, if someone is reaching out to you and asking you for useful information that will help their life and you have the nerve to disregard them, check ya’ self. The same person that you disregard might end up being the same person that has to write you out a huge check to help you pay your property taxes on your establishment.

On the flip side, there are tons of people that think that wealthy people owe them something.  The minute a friend or a relative becomes wealthy, we automatically think that the wealthy person is supposed to take care of us. We start to think that since Malik is now a wealthy man, he’s responsible for paying our bills, putting our kids thru college, and making sure that we get that black Corvette that we’ve always wanted. And when he refuses, what’s the first thing that we say? “He forgot where he came from.”

If you are that fool that thinks that someone is supposed to take care of you, let me help you get a bang out of life: YOU are responsible for taking care of YOU. Instead of looking for a free ride, look for free advice as to how you can get things moving for yourself. Malik doesn’t want to go broke taking care of your lazy ass, especially since you are a grown person that should be taking care of yourself. If he chooses to take care of you, he will eventually be broke just like you. If that happens, will you help him out? Probably not.

My final note: if you are truly sincere in wanting someone to help you become successful, make sure that you make that known straight from the gate. Nobody feels the need to waste time with someone that doesn’t take their future seriously. In other words, don’t ask for helpful advice and then don’t use it. That’s like taking a one-hundred dollar bill and wiping your behind with it. Furthermore, if you are the type of person that has knowledgeable information that can help someone, help them by giving them the helpful information and not discourage them due to your own insecurities.


Copyright © 2013 by Sonica Jackson

***The views and opinions expressed here on my website are solely those of myself and do not in any way represent the views and opinions of WordPress or anyone else.


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