A few days ago, I was listening to the radio in my car and the radio personality (I can’t remember his name) was saying that there are some women out there that have admitted that they will help their fiancé with the payment of their own engagement ring, so that they could get the ring that they wanted. He then went on to open the phone lines to find out what people thought about this. At this point, I wasn’t really paying attention to what the callers were saying on the phone because I was just so appalled by the fact that there are women out there who will “go half” with their fiancé on paying for an engagement ring of their choice.
I strongly believe that this type of tomfoolery is one of the reasons as to why we have such a huge amount of men that don’t believe in chivalry anymore. Some men don’t demonstrate chivalry because they were never taught and/or don’t believe in it but to be honest with you, it’s mostly the women’s fault as to why chivalry is dead. If you really think about it, most men treat us the way that we treat ourselves.
If you are the type of woman that wants to pay for your own engagement ring or pay for half of the cost, please allow yourself five minutes to curse your own self out. Or let me do it for you. Believe me, I’ll get the job done. Let me explain to you why I’m mad about this:
In this day and age, true love is a VERY hard thing to find and it’s an even harder thing to keep. I’m speaking from experience because I used to be the one that was always falling in love with the wrong type of guy. So the fact that a man took the time to buy you a ring and propose to your ungrateful behind is a blessing within itself. A marriage proposal means that your man takes you seriously. This means that he actually sees himself spending the rest of his life with you. You oughta be thankful that he even went that far. Marriage is a HUGE step and you can best believe that most men are not gonna jump into it unless they are really, really, READY.
So for you to emasculate him by putting YOUR money together to help him buy the ring that YOU want is like spitting in his face and telling him that what he bought for you, wasn’t good enough. And if I was him, I would revoke my proposal immediately and leave you to ponder your thoughts. If he took the liberty of buying you a ring and he really put some thought into it, wear that ring proudly and be grateful that you have a man that is willing to marry your selfish behind. Let a man be a man if you want to KEEP that man.
On the real, some of you women are just too damn independent for you own good. That’s why some of you are okay with the idea of helping your fiancé pay for the ring that you want or even going as far as to buy the ring yourself. You think that you can do everything without a man and have fooled yourselves into thinking that you don’t want a man. You walk around with an unapproachable attitude and say dumb things such as, “I can do anything that a man can do” or “I don’t need a man” or “A man can’t do nothing for me that I can’t do for myself” or my upmost favorite, “As long as I got Jesus, I’m single and satisfied.” Yeah, right. You can sit there and train yourself to believe that crap if you want to but you know that none of it is true. Now don’t get me wrong; some women have been thru so much mess that they really don’t wanna be bothered and they just wanna be by themselves for a little while. There’s nothing wrong with that. Or some women have too much stuff going on to really focus on having a relationship with someone. That’s understandable too. You don’t have to be with someone if you’re not ready for that. There’s a time and a season for everything.
But don’t fool yourself into thinking that you don’t want to be touched, held, kissed on, nibbled on, caressed, and told that you’re loved. Every woman wants that. You’re SUPPOSED to want that. So allow yourself to have that by letting the man be the MAN in the relationship. Quit trying to take over the wheel and quit acting like men are not needed. Whether you believe it or not, you will always need a man for something. Even if you’re in lesbian relationship, you are still gonna need a man. For example, if Keisha and Tanya decides that they want to commit to each other and have baby, it’s gonna take the actions of a MAN in order to make that baby. You can’t make a cake by just whipping two eggs together in a bowl. In order for you to make the cake, you gotta have the batter. And who has the batter? The man.
Here’s another example of why men are important: Your toilet is broken in your house. Since you’re so damn independent, you’ve decided that you wanna try to fix it yourself. Not only did you NOT fix it but you made the problem worse. So you decide to call a plumber. Nine times out of ten, the plumber is gonna be a guy. So you’re either gonna let him fix the toilet or your house is gonna smell like a public bathroom.
I’m pretty sure that you understand what I’m trying to say to you. If you don’t understand, seek help. Here are a few helpful hints to help you stay ya’ independent ass behind the line:
1. If a man wants to take you out on a date and pay for you, LET HIM.
2. If a man wants to open the door for you, LET HIM.
3. If a man wants to pull out your chair, LET HIM.
4. Stop with the let’s-go-Dutch foolishness. That effects sooo many women (such as myself) who believes in good old-fashion dating when a man was supposed to handle the tab. Not only that, he doesn’t need you to show him that you can handle things on your own. Believe me, if he’s dating you, he already knows that about you. So put ya’ damn credit card away and fall back.
5. DO NOT PAY FOR YOUR OWN ENGAGEMENT RING!!!
And lastly, while preparing for the wedding, remember this one rule: it’s about YOU and HIM. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a beautiful wedding but don’t lose sight of what’s really important. If you have any kind of sense, spend more time preparing for the marriage versus preparing for the wedding.
Copyright © 2013 by Sonica Jackson
***The views and opinions expressed here on my website are solely those of myself and do not in any way represent the views and opinions of WordPress or anyone else.